I have few distinct memories from my very early childhood but I do remember one in particular: My mother looking at me with tears running down her cheeks, with Judy Collins on the record player in the background, singing Turn Around.
Did I imagine this?
I don’t think so. Regardless, I know that my mom loved listening to Judy Collins and I am sure that the lyrics went straight to her heart.
As they do mine. The song’s an absolute heartbreaker.
TURN AROUND (Malvina Reynolds, Harry Belafonte, & Allen Greene) --------------------------------------------------------------- Where are you going, my little one, little one Where are you going, my baby, my own? Turn around and you're two, turn around and you're four Turn around and you're a young girl going out of my door Turn around, turn around Turn around and you're a young girl going out of my door Where are you going, my little one, little one Little dirndls and petticoats, where have you gone? Turn around and you're tiny, turn around and you're grown Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own Turn around, turn around Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own Turn around, turn around Turn around and you're the young girl going out of the door Where are you going, my little one, little one Where are you going, my ba-by, my own?
Where does the time go?
One of the most melancholy aspects of life is the fact that we cannot slow down time. We can't even put it on pause for a moment. Try as we might, there is no way to hold on to anything, no matter how beautiful it is. Nothing is constant except change.
And so, obviously, we cannot stop our children from growing up.
This week marked the end of the school year and with it we recognized the passing of all sorts of milestones.
Dylan finished up 1st grade at Armatage Montessori School with the fabulous Miss Jean. He's reading chapter books like an addict. With both front teeth missing and getting lankier by the day, he has definitely entered a new stage of childhood. Thank goodness he still loves morning cuddles in our bed!
Here was his breakfast request for the last day of school:
Jesse graduated from 8th grade, which means that high school is just thirteen short weeks away. How could this be so? I'm grateful that he still wants to hold hands with his mother. Despite the occasional attitude, this kid is a total charmer.
These milestones are accompanied by a painful reality; we realize afresh that time is passing. Swiftly.
And four years from now?
Jesse will graduate from high school. He will be getting ready to head off to college. And our time with him will be limited to holidays and school breaks and summer vacation in Tobermory.
Having our children seven years apart has given us the opportunity to stretch out the milestones a little.
Still, in four years Dylan will be starting middle school.
Where does the time go?
My boys, if only I could keep you just as you are right now for a while longer.
But I know that I will turn around and you'll be different.
(Still wonderful, but different.)
Just moments from now.